“It is not that we have a short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it.”
― Seneca
After a windy Christmas, a weather window opened. I finally got out to test a few adjustments I made to the boat and some new gear from Santa.
I loaded the hatches, secured my new gel seat cushion, waited for a lull between sets, and swim-launched through the shore break. The plan was to get picked up later at a more sheltered slip in town. Landing at the cove where I launched would have been tricky.
As soon as I was out of the cove, it was clear my new setup was a mess. Nothing was where it should be, and I was bouncing around too much to get organized. I felt like the Grinch, his sleigh so encumbered with Christmas goodies that he can no longer push it up Mt. Crumpit.
New gear means new packing habits and new things to remember. In my effort to make sure I hadn’t forgotten any of my new stuff, I forgot to pack a key piece of safety gear: my paddle leash. To make matters worse, I had just regripped paddle. The grip tape would take a couple of sessions to break in and was slippery in the meantime.
The nearest shelter was over a mile away, around a small point where the swell was jacking up and creating confused seas.
I couldn’t do much to improve the situation from where I was, but I could make things a lot worse by getting all worked up about my own packing issues. I took a couple of calming breaths, gripped my paddle, and picked my line around the rocky point. I even managed to surf a few along the way.
The problem wasn’t the sea state or weather or my level of experience or fitness.
The problem was faff.
“Faff” is a British rock climbing term for clutter and time-wasting that has since been adopted by Irish and UK sea kayakers.
Faff: 1) n. A mess of tangled rope and gear, especially at a belay station on a multi-pitch climb. 2) v. To faff is to try to sort out your predicament without actually achieving much. Example: “Are you going to put me on belay or just faff around all day?” (British accent recommended.)
— Gear Junkie’s “Definitive Guide to Climbing Jargon”
Faff can be the unavoidable delays that come with trip logistics, like shuttling boats and paddlers by van for a point-to-point paddle. Winter paddling involves extra layers and extra gear. This adds to the faff of getting started and cleaning up after a trip. Which is fine as long as you allow for faff time in your planning.
But faff can also be a series of snags and missteps that precipitate disaster. Anything that adds to the complexity of a trip has faff potential and can become a liability. That GPS unit you don’t know how to use yet... That distracting GoPro strapped to your helmet... The waterproof phone case that wasn’t... The tow bag you haven’t practiced deploying (that one happened to me on a course).
Paddling in groups is a constant source of faff. We solo paddlers like to say, “two people, two problems.” But landing solo can be a major faff, as can dealing with emergencies on your own. You have to choose your faff, in that case.
How to cut the faff
Faff can never be eliminated, and a little faff is part of the fun. After all, where can you procrastinate if not the beach?
But organization and attention to detail can go a long way towards preventing faff-related incidents.
My snags the other day provide some lessons:
Make one adjustment at a time. Triathletes say, “nothing new on race day.”
Get acquainted with new gear on land or in calm conditions.
Practice with your gear until its function becomes muscle memory.
Don’t carry anything you haven’t practiced using.
Keep it simple.
The faffs of life
Time spent exploring a coastline is time away from the big faff of everyday life. Sea kayaking is a way to “step outside the world of credit cards and double glazing,” as Jeff Allen put it.
Kayaking offers freedom from the faff of smartphones (portable faff machines), small talk, and meetings that could have been emails. But it’s not pure escapism. I find the lessons learned out on the water stay with me as I go about my day on the other side of the wet sand.
Facing the faff issue in my paddling has me looking for ways to simplify and declutter my life on shore so I can make the most of my time.
If you’re looking for a New Year’s resolution, a faff inventory is a good place to start.
Happy New Year, and thanks for reading,
-Charlie
Thank you to Mike Jones for coaching and guidance.
Kokatat is the official gear sponsor of The Lap.
The lap will be fueled by Resilient Nutrition’s Long Range Fuel and bars.
Expedition coffee by 3fe.
CH Marine will be providing a VHF radio and other safety equipment.
Tent and cooking gas provided by Paddle & Pitch. Trolley by KCS.
New word, will use right away.
Good post. I've never heard of faff before. I will sure be using it in my post though. I soooo agree with “two people, two problems.” When going solo to NYC all problems were my doing. Now, older the wife, Hope, likes someone with me, but it drags me down. Mostly when the partner is chronically not on time. It's called the Late Kate Wait.